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Joke of the Day

"date: So what do you do? me: *pulls out stuffed fox* I'm a taxidermist date: Oh wow fox: and a ventriloquist"

"""For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.."" - Newton's Law ""Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad."" - Cole's Law"

"Eat* a big** bowl*** of Cheerios****! Part***** of any healthy****** breakfast*******! [please read warnings and disclaimers carefully]"

"I'll tell you a gay joke, butt fuck it. (yeah yeah the joke is old, so am I)"

"I started dating this girl online who says she's from Turkey but I'm starting to doubt her. It was definitely Instant-bull."

"[first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?"

"Little known fact: Most Star Wars' space fights filmed in a church Pew Pew Pew"

"[job interview] interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: that's a trick question there is no c in any of those words"

"What do horny terrorists in airplanes do? High jack."

"I like my women how I like my buscuits Covered in semen."