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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the two monocles at the party? They made spectacles out of themselves."
Next Joke
"What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal? The one percent"
"What makes a grown man cry? Watching his wife and children die before his eyes."
"My friend Tommy drowned the other day... At his funeral, we placed a lifejacket on his coffin. It's what he would have wanted..."
"If people say that love finds you... Then I must be Waldo."
"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."
"What's the pink panther's to do list? *To do *To do *To do to do to do to do to doooooo"
"My wife was acting crazy recently. Now I have to remove her blood from the carpet. Her menstrual blood."
"What do you call a water bottle that objects? A rebuttle"
"What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a rooster? An itchy cock"