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Joke of the Day

"Me and my flat-chested wife went to see a marriage counselor. The counselor said, ""What seems to be the problem?"" ""Well"", I said%"

"The main reason I got married is that I really hate driving.."

"A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"breathed a little air through my nose when thought of this http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3szbjn/"

"A Jewish boy asked his father to borrow fifty dollars... ""Forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"""Put your hands in the air like you just don't care"" is offensive to those of us in the apathy community. But whatever."

"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"

"What's the difference between a black man and batman? A black guy can't go a night without robin."

"Interested in: ( ) men ( ) women (X) food"

"""Come as you are. As you were. As I want you to be."" ~ Kurt Cobain, confusing party coordinator"