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Joke of the Day

"Leviticus 20:13 legalises gay marriage and marijuana: ""If a man lays with another man he should be stoned""."

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"Did you get that????? Unscramble these words! 1.) PNEIS 2.) HTIELR 3.) NGGERI 4.) BUTTSXE Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGER and SUBTEXT?"

"*walks into bar with camera* Me: Can I take a shot of this glass? Bartender: Take a pitcher, it'll last longer"

"My favorite endangered species is the black NASCAR fan."

"So there's this cute girl from work and I'm too shy to talk to her But then I realized, all I needed to do to talk to her was to remove the duct tape"

"Why don't blind people skydive more often? It scares the shit outta their dog! - - - - **Now how do the blind people know they're about to hit the ground ?** The leash gets slack."

"Weighed myself. Did elliptical for 30 minutes. Weighed myself. Half a pound heavier. Never exercising again."

"(Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs ! Because you know how to make a wiener stand!"

"Why was the blonde upset when she got her Drivers License? Because she got an F in sex."