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Joke of the Day

"If God doesn't want us to masturbate... then why does he always make one sock disappear in the dryer?"

"What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground? They know people will blow them."

"Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it."

"Why cant Gingers make shoes? They wouldn't have a sole."

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West."

"Tons of guys wave at me when I drive my wife's car."

"Before you criticize someone.. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"My wife walked in on me and found me f***ing our daughter... I didn't know what she found more disturbing, the fact I was f***ing our daughter, or that the abortion clinic sold me her fetus."

"Yo Mama's so stupidshe got locked in a ""Furniture World"" and slept on the floor."

"What does Moses do when he wants a beer? He brews!"