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Joke of the Day

"My wife walked in on me and found me f***ing our daughter... I didn't know what she found more disturbing, the fact I was f***ing our daughter, or that the abortion clinic sold me her fetus."

"Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant? Abortion clinic."

"Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks."

"Coworker: You're very immature. Me: You're very observant."

"Husband's early morning farts sound like they end with a question mark. The answer is ""No."""

"Why can't you email a picture to a jedi? Because attachments are forbidden."

"Finding exactly what right women don't have in America is like transmuting iron to gold. You can't."

"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks... I wouldn't have to give so many blowjobs."

"Just because I reported several women to HR for not washing their hands after using the rest room doesn't mean the camera they found is mine"

"What do you call an online encyclopedia for DJs? A wiki-wiki-wi-wi-wi-kipedia"