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Joke of the Day

"I haven't slept for 3 days... Because that would be way too long."

"how much wood would a wood chuck if Bruce Willis is the Ghost"

"What did the curtain rod say to the blinds? Nice shades. (sorry)"

"You seem awesome. I can't wait to find out what I hate about you."

"What's black, covered in teeth marks and no longer in use? Philip Seymour Hoffman's belt."

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."

"Hacking is like gay sex... you enter a backdoor hoping there are no logs."

"Why your mother had you Your mother did not get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with you because she wanted you, but because the abortion cost more then keeping you alive."

"Help stop early childhood obesity It's as easy taking candy from a baby."

"If I were a fly on the wall, I'd probably be the slow, uncoordinated one that makes someone feel like a ninja for killing me on first try."