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Joke of the Day

"I was flattered that our mailman calls me ""Sunshine"" until I overheard him call my neighbor, the double amputee, ""Speedy."""

"Oatmeal shouldn't get to have the word ""meal"" in it. How about oatsnack? Or oatbullshit?"

"Where's the biggest shopping center in Europe? Malldova"

"The only thing worse than a woman who's completely lifeless in bed.. .. Is getting caught with the body"

"A man was about to jump off a cliff... ...and before he jumped he said, ""I'm doing this for Jesus Christ!"" I think he took a leap of faith."

"If i had a dollar for every Girl who found me unattractive... They will finally find me attractive"

"How do you make an ugly kid? Go ask your mother Courtesy of a hot dog vendor in Atlanta"

"Every time you reply to a text from your ex, Taylor Swift completes another album. Don't be an enabler. Drop the phone."

"You can now experience skydiving without a parachute! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"how can you make a blonde laugh on a Sunday? Tell her a joke Wednesday."