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Joke of the Day

"Traffic..The only jam that doesn't go on toast"

"How do you have phone sex over a telegraph line? Oh baby, don't stop. STOP."

"What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAINS"

"Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle."

"Why didn't Cathy keep the extra dollar of change at Chick-fil-a? Because Cathy can't help being Truett-ful"

"Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white? Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove"

"A 3 legged dog walking into an Old West bar. He says... I'm lookin for the man that shot my Paw."

"My mom woke up early every morning to cut the crusts off my sandwiches for lunch at school. She knew the crusts were my favorite part. She hated me so much."

"I got two packs o' sugar... Call me Two Canes ^I'm ^sorry."

"Scratching my head trying to recall... What was the name of that hair salon next to the graveyard? I've got it! It's called ""Curl Up and Dye."""