171507

Joke of the Day

"Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter. (Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)"

Next Joke
 
"me: when I was your age there was a band called Hoobastank grandson: his mind is clearly degraded. that cannot be true. the old man is dying"
"What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows!"
"I always mean what I say. Sometimes, I didn't mean to say it out loud."
"What do you call a wandering caveman? A meanderthal."
"I lost out at the S&M; Awards, but it was an honor just to be dominated."
"My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch."
"""How many people work at your company?"" About half of them."
"Before I watch any new network comedy, I say to myself ""This better be filled with diversity."""
"I'm not trying to be mean, but... I'm pretty average."