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Joke of the Day
"So I asked my North Korean friend how's life there He said he can't complain"
Next Joke
"That tattoo of wings on your back are good. But wings that small could hardly get you off the ground though. *reveals full body wing tattoo*"
"I was in the pharmacy today... A man approached me offering either a blue pill or a red pill. I didn't know staying in false reality gave you a 24 hour erection."
"Immigrants after Trump's election be like... [removed]"
"So apparently in a job interview, if the interviewer asks you to choose one word that describes you, the correct answer is not fergalicious."
"Well well well if it isn't the kangaroo whose pouch I'm in."
"Why did the anvil hit the blacksmith instead? Because it was irony."
"You hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a Dog."
"""You could have done so much better than him."" Me: Mom, I'm right here."
"I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That'll teach 'em. Can't unsee that."