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Joke of the Day
"If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened."
Next Joke
"My resolution last year was to lose 25 lbs. Anyone know how I can lose 50lbs in an hour and fifteen minutes?"
"Mitch Hedberg used to do drugs"
"Educated Twitter about to come and differentiate for us between an earthquake and tremor. We don't care...as long as there is shaking."
"It takes a long time to delete 900 million dollars worth of stuff from an Amazon shopping cart."
"Trump announces plan to crush China by sending Chris Christie to every Chinese buffet in the country."
"I dream to live in a world where I can politely get out of plans by saying, ""I'm so sorry, but I just remembered I don't want to"""
"I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed."
"How do you know if you're sitting in a gay bar? If someone comes up behind you and offers to push your stool in"
"How do you kill a vegan vampire? Steak to the heart."