171222

Joke of the Day

"British woman suing McDonalds after finding a cigarette in her ONE year old's Happy Meal.As if ciggie wasn't the healthiest thing in the bag"

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know There was a long silence and then she said..... bastard"

"45 min phone call w/8yo nephew: Aunt Cassy, there are 206 bones in the human body!Want me to name them?1.Cranium 2.Mandible 3.Scapula..."

"Did you hear the one about premature ejaculation? Too soon, man."

"What did the second guesser with no self esteem say to Reddit? edit: nevermind..."

"What did one German baker say to the other? Glutentag!"

"#1 pick up line in a gay bar? ""Can I push your stool in""?"

"I wonder if, in Ancient Greece, Lighting strikes were considered an ""Act of God"" by insurance companies."

"I just painted my toenails whore red, then immediately confined them to tight heels so they know what shameful little sluts they are."

"If we could put bread in a particle collider... We could discover new quarks and glutons."