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Joke of the Day

"What did one German baker say to the other? Glutentag!"

"Anger; the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind."

"Apparently the Royal Family is running out of money. They're down to just 26.5 million ...Which is what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years."

"Vending machines kill more people every year than sharks Obviously, how's a vending machine going to kill a shark?"

"What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby."

"What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons."

"For every movie about Vietnam starring Chuck Norris, the historical duration of the war decreases. Just 3 more ""Missing in Action"" sequels, and that war will have never actually existed."

"Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency? So the men can think of a solution in silence."

"It's almost Thanksgiving day... Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... Don't laugh! You would too if you couldn't see or hear."