171209

Joke of the Day

"Mary had a little lamb And a side of mashed potatoes"

"There should be a branch of the government that just helps people who get stood up."

"Independence Day was basically aliens blew shit up and then we gave them a copy of Windows and won the war."

"Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering."

"What do you call an Irish lesbian? Good with the Gaelic."

":* `*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar * `*:. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!"

"Don't sell yourself short, in fact, don't sell yourself at all. I'm pretty sure it's illegal"

"Do you think the rattlesnake is ever embarrassed that he has a stupid baby toy at the end of his string body"

"Why do robots never cuddle after sex? Because all a robot does is nuts and bolts."

"They should make a weed strain called ""WMD"" Except it turns out it doesnt exist"