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Joke of the Day
"Don't sell yourself short, in fact, don't sell yourself at all. I'm pretty sure it's illegal"
Next Joke
"There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she's left. She obviously wasn't blind at all."
"What's a camel? A horse made by committee."
"Autocorrect just changed ""carnie"" to ""catnip"" and now all my friends think I slept with a bunch of catnips last night."
"Why don't black people dream? The last one who had a dream got shot."
"One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen."
"LIKE if you remember what it was like to take a ton of pictures only to wait a week to find out they were useless."
"Why doesn't the United States have to worry about a North Korean nuclear missile attack? we have the Iron Giant"
"My grandma can hold her breath for over sixteen years!"
"If you're a kid and have problems with pedophiles... grow up"