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Joke of the Day

"At this point in my life... At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer."

"Three advantages of Alzheimers One: You meet new people everyday. Two: On Easter Day you can hide your own eggs. Three: You meet new people everyday."

"I tried making jokes about people who don't go to the gym... ...but none of them worked out."

"The only day of the year that gives an order March 4th Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!"

"Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand? San Diego (thought of this myself, it's better spoken)"

"What order did Emperor Palpatine give to start the orgy? Execute order sexy sex."

"Mariah Carey'a New Year's performance. That's it..."

"My 40 time Is about 4.2 gulps"

"Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't.. Because they're just numbers"

"When I got depressed, I joined the Army. I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on."