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Joke of the Day

"When I got depressed, I joined the Army. I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on."

"*adds lol to the end of a message to sound less mean*"

"How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America? By occident"

"When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one? At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees."

"Crazy episode of Judge Judy on right now. This guy was a month late on his rent and she just gave him the electric chair."

"Glass of wine a night A woman drinking a glass of wine a night can increase the chances of a stroke. A full bottle and you might get a blowjob."

"A female contestant is on Wheel of Fortune. ""Give me a D"" she says. ""She wants the D"" Pat Sajak says & then high fives the camera man."

"There's no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants."

"I like to knock on random doors and say, ""Hi, my name is Current Resident and I understand you're the bastard that's been opening my mail."""

"I like my girls like I like my pepperoni pizza White, full of fat and red dots all over them... :-("