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Joke of the Day

"How many Latvians does it take to screw a lightbulb? Is dark. Bulb is potato."

"I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early. But he kept his Word."

"Which plant talks the most crap? Shiitake mushrooms."

"My 1-year-old thought it was funny to put food in my mouth. It was cute with Skittles. Then she switched to dog food."

"you're lucky I can teach you how to shave my dad wasnt around to teach me. now watch *presses razor against face and moves head up and down*"

"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a large pizza? ""A large pizza can feed a family of four"""

"Just heard a little boy call his mom ""mother,"" as if both had already accepted the fact that he'd become a serial killer some day."

"China's number 1 brand of Protein? I-Whey-Whey"

"What do a Redneck divorcee and a Tornado have in common? -- either way, you're gonna lose your trailer..."

"Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: You wanna go ride bikes?!"