77327

Joke of the Day

"Due to a tragic ""iTunes on shuffle"" incident, I have had to convince the guys at work that I have a 12yr old daughter they have never met..."

"I wanted cats. My wife wanted kids. So we got a dog."

"Girlfriend The other day, my girlfriend called me a pedophile... But what does she know, she's only 7."

"Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepson is possibly the catchiest song I've ever heard lol"

"What do you call someone who is great at casting?? A Mastercaster hahahahahah"

"What do you call a lamington that weighs a lot? A lamingTON!"

"I come to Twitter for the recipe trading, but I stay for the overt racism!"

"Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ? He wanted Mark Antony !"

"I caught my girl cheating with my best friend on my new leather couch... Of course I yelled at him.. He's not allowed on the couch. (Made this one up this morning.. Still playing with the wording)"

"McDonald's serves up 1 billion ""abortions on toast"" They've sold 1 billion of [these](http://i.imgur.com/d9CDgON.jpg)...the egg-mcmuffin"