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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a large pizza? ""A large pizza can feed a family of four"""

"""Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."" ""10 kilograms you say?"" ""Yeah, 5 kilograms"""

"How do you cause a riot at a cat show? Open a can"

"Shazam but for telling you the name of someone who's only just been introduced to you 5 minutes ago but you weren't listening."

"Fortune Teller: I see a trip in your future Me [cancelling a week-long trip to Peru]: haha nope. wrong, idiot. [fall down stairs as I leave]"

"Why did the dog jump into the sea? He wanted to chase the catfish!"

"Girl, you have a nice... http://imgur.com/OJKPTJr"

"It's a SHOT in the dark, but you might find this funny. Why did the bros take a shot of alcohol together? Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether"

"Q: What's an accordion good for? A: Learning how to fold a map."

"What's the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don't like the Flinstones and people from Abu Dhabi Doo!"