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Joke of the Day

"Famous Minds Galileo:Great mind Einstein:Genius Mind Newton:Extraordinary Mind Bill Gates:Brilliant Mind Sir George w.bush: Never Mind"

"""It's our third date and you still wear that shirt?"" Honey, this all they have in prison."

"Thank you, student loan, for getting me through college. I don't think I can ever repay you ."

"Yea, go ahead and destroy that spider's web. It's not like he spent a week making it so he can kill bugs that are in your house. Asshole."

"People always ask me why I quit my job as a can crusher... Well it was just soda-pressing!"

"A lier, crook, and murderer walks into a bar.... The bartender asks, ""What'll it be, Mrs. Clinton?"""

"how did the gamete get rich? because sex cells... Thank you thank you i'll be here all week."

"I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up."

"How do you get a hippie pregnant? You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest."

"If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool."