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Joke of the Day

"growing up my sister was a cutter... thankfully, she got help and no longer cut herself; she would just ask me to do it..."

"What do you call a European using the bathroom? 'You're-a-peein"""

"Did you know that six days a week T.G.I. Friday's thanks God for nothing?"

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it :)"

"What does an American actor say when going to Europe? Let's go PAL."

"Today we our throwing one of our Asian employees a supplies birthday party. I got him a highlighter."

"My 5y/o just threw a 15 min fit because she doesn't want me to get old. I had to tell her if she took a bath it would help me stay young"

"Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?"

"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says okay I'll serve you, as long as you don't start anything."

"Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant."