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Joke of the Day

"Had a terrifying lucid dream of getting stabbed and slashed from behind with a huntersknife & people making fun of me for being uneasy after"

"Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off He is all right now"

"Why do people post missing person posts on Facebook? Like we're going outside..."

"*at funeral* Thank you all for coming. As you already know, my dignity has left us. I tripped in front of all my coworkers. It was tragic."

"People nowadays take pictures, not for memories, but to post them on Facebook and get comments."

"Abusing a word, done correctly I have eye opening experiences every day, quite literally."

"I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!"

"Weird how people always die in groups of 3's... or 5's or 78's or however you group them cause there's lots of people & we all die."

"So a skinhead walks into a Jewish bakery... A skinhead walking into a Jewish bakery and asks, ""How much does the challah cost?"""

"Desire to not get beat up > Desire to wear a cloak"