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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."

"This milk is so far past its expiration date that I'm only going to have a small slice."

"Wife: Silent Me: What's wrong? Wife: Nothing Me: Grabs shield and sword"

"What does Popeye's dick smell like? Olive Oil"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a Penis."

"What do you call Mary Janes vagina? A peter parker."

"Paid a homeless guy $1 for this: What's a pirate's favorite letter? (They will always say ""arrrrrrhh."") Nope, P, it's like arrrrrrhh without a leg."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his kids? Because he's black."

"Imagination: because if I fcuked you as much as I thought about it, we'd both be unemployed."