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Joke of the Day

"Paid a homeless guy $1 for this: What's a pirate's favorite letter? (They will always say ""arrrrrrhh."") Nope, P, it's like arrrrrrhh without a leg."

Next Joke
 
"Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mine?"
"Gay jokes are not funny! Cum on guys!"
"[inventing the parrot] HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU"
"""It's summer! Yay! No more school shootings!"" American children."
"A little kid came up to me and said... ""I have two mommies."" ""Really?"", I said. ""Your parents are lesbians?"" ""No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."""
"Why can't bicycles stand on their own? They are two tired."
"Bar Joke A zionist, a mass murderer and a jew come into a bar, the israelite orders a drink"
"An 80's style montage of me and a dog learning to use chopsticks, and the dog progressing marginally faster"
"What did the grapes say to their parents after they put them into a nursing home? Thanks for raisin us"