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Joke of the Day

"What's the Middle East's favorite candy? YemenHeads"

"Letting the grocery bagger bring my groceries out sounds nice but I can't handle trying to remember where I parked in front of a stranger."

"Civil War Jokes? Most of them are General-Lee stupid."

"Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs"

"SATAN: I will tempt you into leaving the desert JESUS: Oh yeah I can't wait to get back to the place where everyone hates me and has leprosy"

"I want to be rich enough to tell the Chipotle cashier, ""Guacamole is NO OBJECT!"""

"Boss: ""you're fired"" Me: ""I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree"""

"Neeeeeeeooooowwwwwwwwwww What do we want? Race car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwww"

"Someone should make a movie where something unusual appears, and the scientists want to study it and the military wants to shoot it."

"She needs to slow her roll. Only been with my girlfriend for two months and she wants to meet my parents. She needs to chill, i waited nine months before meeting them myself."