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Joke of the Day

"Letting the grocery bagger bring my groceries out sounds nice but I can't handle trying to remember where I parked in front of a stranger."

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"Monster: Doctor doctor I'm a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. I'm a dentist."
"I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work."
"What did the bolt say to the nut? ""Washer? I don't even know 'er!"""
"whenever i watch the tv show Friends, i imagine im the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him"
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