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Joke of the Day

"Say - didja hear about the LGBT who keeps telling bad Bruce Jenner jokes? (wait for it ... wait for it Yeah - every one thinks he's a real bruisance ..."

"Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago."

"(Business) Mike: It's a sled. I call it the Mikesled. Bob: I have a better idea."

"My brother is addicted to break fluid... But he says he can stop any time."

"KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DOESN'T EXIST Q: How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist? A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds."

"I'm scared to go to sleep tonight knowing some maniac is running around out there slightly deflating footballs."

"Don't ever compete against Heinz... You're always going to play catch up."

"Green day is playing on the only two alternative rock stations in my neighborhood... There is no alternative."

"Does Facebook have a ""You're not smart enough to be talking about politics"" button?"

"If USB ports could talk, they'd only ask one question. Is it in yet?"