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Joke of the Day

"KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DOESN'T EXIST Q: How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist? A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds."

"Compare to what Luke and Anakin had lost, Leia is considered lucky At least she still has the D"

"Decided to take all my old watches and join them together to make a new belt... turned out to be a waist of time."

"Why did the elephant cross the road ? Because the chicken was having a day off !"

"I'm so single my cat has a cat."

"Friend: Hey dude can you please help me out? Me: Yeah, over there mate same way that you came in."

"The boss said I need to be more of a team player, so I rounded up all my coworkers & we kicked his ass."

"Went to my niece's elementary school field day last week. I won every single event. Every. Single. Event."

"My ex and I didn't work out, you could say our stars didn't align I'm a Cancer she was a cunt. She was anything but a Virgo, and her Pisces smelt like a Taurus."

"I've got a Turkish friend. She's not hot or cold. Shawarma."