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Joke of the Day

"You say lonely I say home alone with an opportunity to masturbate"

"Anything I accomplish before I finish my first cup of coffee has been fueled by rage."

"""WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE MY IPHONE"" - new thing I scream at my kids"

"How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard."

"The thing I love most about this summer weather is the short shorts and tube tops.. ... Though, they do make me look a bit gay."

"How many months have 28 days in a leap year? 12 months not just february!"

"What's the difference between an establishment where alcohol is served and an elephant passing gas? One is a Bar Room, the other is a BAROOOM!"

"How did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"""Knock Knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""It's the Police, sir."" ""You'll have to wait, I'm having a shit."" ""We know, Sir, the Phone Box has glass sides!"""

"Don't argui with r/jokes... There's too many ri-postes."