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Joke of the Day

"""Knock Knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""It's the Police, sir."" ""You'll have to wait, I'm having a shit."" ""We know, Sir, the Phone Box has glass sides!"""

"Old joke, now with new offensive punchline. My grandfather died at Auschwitz. He had a heart attack while raping a 12 year old Jewish girl."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'll serve You, but don't start anything."""

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue? You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there!"

"The best underwear jokes.... are brief."

"I used to have a phone with a really good user interface... ...but someone swiped it."

"Do you know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I'll never forget what that Pyscho said before he kicked the bucket. ""BRING ME A BUCKET, AND I'LL SHOW YOU A BUCKET."""

"A blonde joke"

"Now that Fall is here, do you think all the teenage girls with duck-faces will fly South for the winter?"