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Joke of the Day

"The thing I love most about this summer weather is the short shorts and tube tops.. ... Though, they do make me look a bit gay."

"Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits."

"Bechdel test Two women walk into a bar, one says ""you heard of the Bechdel test?"", the other: ""yeah my boyfriend told me about it the other day..."""

"What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!"

"Did you hear about the vegan cannibal? He only ate quadraplegics. Credit to: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2noeoo/what_bullshit_fact_can_you_come_up_with_that/cmfd0bj for the inspiration"

"Menstruation jokes are not funny. Period."

"It's 11:48 PM. You can't sleep. Underneath your bed, there's a creepy rustle, as the clown tries to quietly unwrap and eat a granola bar."

"The light at the end of the tunnel are the front lights of a train."

"What is the mathematician's favorite pick-up line? Hey baby, wanna see the exponential growth of my natural log?"

"Quick, I need some fables, ASOP."