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Joke of the Day

"Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel? He needed a place to crash."

"Jenny McCarthy was wearing a jacket and gloves in Time Square on New Years Eve. I didn't know she believes in the theory of weather."

"My 3 yr old is so encouraging. I changed my shirt; she says""Daddy, you did it!"" If she finds out I use the potty by myself, she'll flip out."

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."

"People ask me ""Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent, and have an amazing personality"". My response: ""I'm overqualified""."

"Trying to write a racist joke. But it is impossible since this huge nigger is looking at me and sees every word i wri...assfnj fasd"

"So much negative, Wars, terrorism, climate disruption, political corruption.......Kardashians........ At least Charlie Sheen is positive."

"Probably the third-best reason to have kids is if you think it's funny when other people trip."

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. ""First offender?"" The judge asked. ""No"" said the bailiff, ""First a Gibson, then a Fender."""

"With the brexit news, they say the pound is failing. They're calling it the ounce, now."