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Joke of the Day

"My 3 yr old is so encouraging. I changed my shirt; she says""Daddy, you did it!"" If she finds out I use the potty by myself, she'll flip out."

Next Joke
 
"My wife didn't believe me when I told her I'd built a car out of spaghetti, penne and tortellini... ......You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta."
"I saw someone litter a picture of Kim Kardashian. What a waist!"
"Remember when The Backstreet Boys told us to show them the meaning of being lonely and we were like ok"
"A man wearing nothing but cellophane walked into a psychiatrist office. The doctor said I can clearly see your nuts"
"My wife: ""vacation sex really is the best!"" Worst postcard I ever received."
"Christmas gift Mom walks to her son ""Johnny, what would you like for Christmas - a brother or a sister?"" she asks ""Well, I'd like a sled, but I don't know if your vagina can handle that."" he replies."
"Whats the biggest difference betweens mens and womens soccer? There are more pussies on a mens soccer team"
"Today, I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself... Then, I realized it was a window."
"I Like my women like i like my elevators.... If I push their buttons, they'll go down."