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Joke of the Day
"Probably the third-best reason to have kids is if you think it's funny when other people trip."
Next Joke
"Why did the guitarist get life in prison? He fingered a minor."
"Did you hear about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand."
"How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children? You put a guitar in his hands."
"Sarcasm so good, they think you're being nice."
"What do you call it when two designers argue about what file type to export a graphic to? Getting into a bit of a .tiff!"
"2-year-old: The dog tastes like dirt. Me: Don't lick the dog. 2: He licked me first."
"My dad once told me this one If you walk into the bathroom an American and come out of the bathroom an American, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European :^)"
"Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat's paw] Ignore himhe'll never understand love."
"Why planes are faster than car and buses? Because they are almost never **tired**."