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Joke of the Day
"With the brexit news, they say the pound is failing. They're calling it the ounce, now."
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"WHAT I ORDER: French toast WHAT WAITER HEARS: If my water goes below the brim you die"
"""We like our beer the way we like our violence..."" ""Domestic"" -Stolen from a part of a Bill Burr skit. It apparently upset some easily offended people when they saw it at a bar"
"I'll never be able to clean my house faster than when someone texts saying they're coming over."
"Whats the difference between an arts degree and a large pizza A large pizza can feed a family of 4"
"Relationship status: Putting aloe on the wall and rubbing against it to apply in places that I can't reach."
"If every day is a gift, I'd like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday."
"Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator."
"There are 10 kinds of people in the world Those who understand binary, and those who don't. And those who didn't expect this joke to be in base 3"
"Someone called me lazy today... I almost replied."