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Joke of the Day

"A woman caught her bald husband trying to steal a wig. She looked at him and whispered ""Honey, what are you doing? We have toupee for that!"""

"Why do white people rely on asians so much? Because without them, they'd just be cauc."

"French pastry bakers are scary They give me the crepes."

"My fortune cookie message read : ""You appeal to a small, select group of confused people"" .... Uh huh ...."

"What do you call a russian tree? Dimitree"

"What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant? A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes."

"I went to the bar with my 21 year old girlfriend... They called me a pedophile because I was 42. That totally ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"Why are you prodding me with that ruler? ""Im measuring your patience"""

"A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said ""Free Candy"" on the side. I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet."

"Women are kinda like engines. You gotta show them a little TLC to get all your money's worth out of them, and every now you have to choke them to get them to turnover."