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Joke of the Day
"Why are you prodding me with that ruler? ""Im measuring your patience"""
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"Some days I think Forrest had the right idea when he dropped everything and just kept running."
"What's the worst thing you can do in the name of cupidity? Going to Thailand with your own children"
"Susan froze to death. She was cremated It's what she would have wanted."
"Wanna know a joke? Look through this subreddit, there are plenty of good ones to be found!"
"What's the difference between having a son and having a daughter? If you have a son, there's only one penis you have to worry about."
"My phone just replaced the word ""killed"" with ""kilt."" Well plaid, phone... Well plaid."
"If you're a monkey, your shit's always bananas."
"Trying to make my teeth whiter, so I bought them a Subaru."
"Can you think of something more ironic than being a gay chiropractor? Choosing a career in which your job is to make people straight again."