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Joke of the Day

"Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all. Me: What if I sewed myself shut? Doc: Suture self."

"Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash? There were Poles on the right half of the plane."

"Drake started from the bottom. Of Darwin's evolution chart."

"""I'd like a bowl of soup please."" ""Any sides?"" ""I hope so, or it'll go EVERYWHERE."""

"What do a call a fish with no eyes A blind fish"

"What is harder than telling the difference between Chinese people? Telling the difference between Chinese people with down syndrome."

"What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? One's a little lighter."

"The most unrealistic part of The Martian movie was... CNN's coverage did not involve speculation about whether Joe Biden would also get stuck on Mars"

"What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back? Wheeeeee!"

"Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it's all play."