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Joke of the Day
"A bad cheese joke. How did I boast to the cheese I made myself? ""Gruyere."""
Next Joke
"I accidentally dripped some mustard on my newborn daughter's forehead and long story short a nurse just walked in and saw me lick the baby."
"Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't."
"Helium walks into a bar... and the barman says 'sorry we don't serve noble gasses in here'. However Helium doesn't react."
"I live in a high crime neighbourhood if you count socks with sandals."
"What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients? At your cervix, m'lady"
"Do old people wear boxers or briefs? Depends"
"It appears the brain trust has commenced its meeting. Listen to those synapses fire."
"NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?"
"Ugh why is my bag so heavy? *goes through bag* ok keys, wallet, book, sandwich, water, anvil, other sandwich, human baby, no I need all this"