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Joke of the Day
"How to tell if your wife is mad at you 1. She is"
Next Joke
"I don't like to boast about my sexual prowess but... (NSFW) I don't like to boast about my sexual prowess but I lick ass at cunnilingus. Oops, I mean kick ass. That was just a slip of the tongue."
"I asked my 3yo daughter if I should get a minivan... She said, no, you should get a Daisy van."
"Marriage is full of surprises but it's mostly just asking each other ""do you have to do that right now?"""
"""Haha nice"" = i would rather be dead than continue this conversation"
"People complain about Facebook privacy settings, but I'm still standing 5 inches away from the guy in the urinal next to me."
"What do you call a baby in a concentration camp? Baby Powder."
"as you wonder ""where the weed at?"" a worm hole opens up in front of you and through the portal an alien arm reaches out to pass you a blunt"
"Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, ""Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."""
"Why did the native american hate snow? It's white and on his land."