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Joke of the Day

"What's a good thing and a bad thing at the same time.... seeing your mother in-law back off a cliff in your new car"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Are Sinking On A Cruise Ship, Who Survives? America"

"Little do you know that in my head I've already married you, divorced you, and hidden your body."

"Two cows and a cat were going on a trip. Cow A: Do we go this way with the cat? Cow B: The cattle go this way, we shall go the udder way."

"What do you get when you mix Fascism and Communism? I don't know, that's why I was asking you."

"If only 10 people were to stay alive in this world. what number of healthy males do you think is a good number? And how many females?"

"Willpower? Sure. It's in the garage with my unicorn."

"[Changes Siri to male] ME: Siri, tell me the MALE SIRI: Listen, here's what you need to know. ME: I... MALE SIRI: Excuse me, I'm speaking"

"I have sexdaily *dyslexia"

"Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich."