129399

Joke of the Day

"Why Harriet Tubman shouldn't replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill The new $20 bill will only be worth $12"

"What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)"

"January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, Cucumber..."

"Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites? New Jersey picked first."

"i hate when you google stuff like 'insidious' it gives you the definition but when you google 'butt' it doesn't. define butt for me damn it"

"It must be tough having the world's best clown as your dad. You would have such big shoes to fill"

"SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party? PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one candle."

"What do you plant ... What do you plant, to grow a really big plant that has nothing wrong with it? Dyslexic acorns. They grow into A-ok trees."

"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"

"Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?"