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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my whisky 18 years old and mixed up in coke"

"my spirit guide told me to scale the shelves at Cosco and build a nest with toilet paper"

"If I had a dollar for every woman that finds me unattractive... ...then after a while they would find me attractive."

"My friend told me I didn't ""understand"" irony. But then he got a flat tire. Oh, the sweet irony."

"I just bought a piano off the TV. It came from the Chopin Channel."

"This cat poop tastes like I'm about to get yelled at. -- Dogs"

"What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses! "

"What do you call a horny man ghost hunting? A **boo**ty call."

"It's a shame push-up bras don't work on IQs."

"What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan? Saladdin."