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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a piano off the TV. It came from the Chopin Channel."

"I just picked a Chapstick up from my bedside table, spent 30 seconds trying to get the lid off with my teeth, then realized it was a battery"

"There's a fine line Between a numerator and a denominator."

"I always go the extra mile at work. That's why I'm a terrible taxi driver."

"What do you call a trespassing camper? Criminal intent"

"Why don't they just get Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail?"

"You let your eyes unfocus. The entire page coalesces into a cheery, bespectacled face. Waldo is the entire crowd scene. We are all Waldo."

"sorry for my absence, i've been hiding inside my head"

"President Obama had lunch today with Hillary Clinton. Hillary told the president, ""After phoning my top advisers, I think I'll run for office."" And the president said, ""I know. I listened in."""

"I have something witty to say Something witty"