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Joke of the Day

"A woman asks her friend, ""Is your husband circumcised?"" Her friend replies, ""No, he's a complete dick."""

"Laughing at your mistakes could lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse's mistakes WILL shorten it..."

"My ex is like cottage cheese... she's lumpy, she tastes bad, and I don't know what she goes well with."

"I like birthdays but I think too many can kill you"

"How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker."

"What does the comedian say to his children on his deathbed? ""No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"""

"A bit too dark possibly. The war in Vietnam started in 1955 and in 2015 The Charlie was finally massacred."

"Non vaccinated I don't believe in vaccines for my children. FDR never had the polio vaccine and he was President for 12 years."

"A gay couple decides to have some fun and play hide and seek... Jim: if you find me, I'll give you a blowjob! Mike: and if I don't find you? Jim: I'll be behind the couch."

"BREAKING NEWS: Scientists sneak up on Periodic Table, add element of Surprise"