218841

Joke of the Day

"Half of middle aged mothers don't go to the cinemas I don't believe that where do they make all their phone calls"

"Michael J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor... And the guy behind the counter says ""what flavor would you like?"" Michael say ""It doesn't fucking matter, I'm gonna drop it anyways"""

"My grandma talks a lot of shit for someone who still uses a flip phone."

"When my wife and I married we both agreed we would never go to sleep angry. Neither of us has slept in 16 years."

"It's better to plagiarize from Encarta than from Wikipedia, because people actually read Wikipedia."

"What's the square root of 69? Ate something."

"Whats the difference between Sarah Palins mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina"

"The doctors were concerned... ..about my headaches, so they sent me for a brain scan. They found nothing. Still concerned, they gave me an IQ test. The results were negative."

"What's the similarity between a marriage and a tornado? At the start there's lots of sucking and blowing but in the end you lose your house."

"KID: I'm starting to feel like I'll never find a Coke with my name on it MOM: Just keep looking, Dangquestrious"