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Joke of the Day

"All in favor of imitating Spanish women say ""Aye-yi-yi."""

"What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts."

"What happens when you give a cow a joint? The steaks are high"

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

"""And thou shalt know those whom God has chosen for eternal salvation in the following manner: they shall retweet this."" Revelation 4:12."

"I put my middle finger up as soon as I start driving, and if another driver does something really good, I take it down for a second."

"What Do You Call An Israelite On The Himalayas? Mountain Jew."

"I don't hate bread I loaf it "

"If your nose runs and your feet smell..... You're built upside-down."

"With all the talk of gender lately I realized the fastest way to turn a pussy into a dick Give it a gun and a badge"