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Joke of the Day

"If I hear another conversation about that stupid dress... I'm going to beat them until they're white and gold."

"I like to stay at the nude beach all day, or at least until clothing time."

"Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because the D shells are too big, and the B shells are too small."

"I once was bored so I decided to eat a clock to *pass the time*. It was very *time consuming*. Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk"

"People who still call radio stations to request songs are the same people who still update their MySpace profiles."

"I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy... ...but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque."

"I told a blonde joke She didn't get it."

"Anyone want to know my secret to quit procrastination? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee... ...go to bed at 3 AM as if you did not have to get up at 7."

"Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener? Because he was good at pulling weed"